Day Thirty One

I decided on December 30 that I wanted to do a "365 days of gratitude challenge" I saw posted on a blog I read. On December 31, I had a little talk with myself. "Self, I'm not sure if you've met me before, but just so you know, 365 days might be a little ambitious. Remember the time you signed up for a 5k because surely you could manage a 5k, and then had to sell your entry to someone else? Remember how you feel guilty every time you see the shirt you didn't earn? Oh! And don't forget about the drink-64-ounces-of-filtered-water-a-day plan. Boy, that pretty water bottle looked nice on your desk for the eight days you followed through with that plan. And do we even need to talk about the gym memberships?? No? Good." 

So I decided to make things a bit more manageable. One month of gratitude. Surely I could do that? Even though my inner self was a little skeptical, I'm pretty happy that I followed through for once. The app on my phone does make it look I missed a couple of days and had to double up, but I actually did blog each day. And each day records something that I was thankful for on that particular day. I doubt I'll keep up once a day, but it's something I would like to continue. 

30 days seems to be a little more my style than a year, so I think I might try some other "thirty days of".... Maybe 30 days of physical activity? 30 days of a clean car? 30 days of a load of laundry a day? The possibilities are endless. What I do know is that in order to fulfill my promise to myself, I need to say that I'm grateful that I can look back over this month and see exactly why I'm so lucky to have this life of mine. 

Day Twenty Nine

My van is pretty embarrassing right now. And by right now, I mean every day. There is garbage in the back, enough random articles of clothing to clothe an entire family, and I'm pretty sure I saw a cookie under the seat today, hanging out with his Goldfish cracker friends. The battery died the other day, and I'm a little suspicious that it was a nonviolent protest. 

Even though it's dirty and smells vaguely like old fruit snacks, I love my van. (Not enough to clean it regularly, but still.) It's a magical place. With one teenaged athlete already here, two other teenaged athletes are waiting in the wings. In the car, I learn all their secrets.  The lack of eye contact combined with being trapped in a small space with your mom works especially well on the teenage boy, but the others succumb to the power of the van too. 

It's in the van that confessions happen, that fears are shared, that good news comes bursting out. Today alone, I heard about a teacher struggle, a good test score, a friend problem, a fear, and a sports frustration. And today, I only had a child (or three) with me for about 40 total minutes. Some days it's much more than that. (And, funny story, one of the things confessed today came from a child that is not even related to me. The power of the van is strong.) 

I'm thinking that maybe this weekend, a good cleaning might be in order. It's really the least I can do. 

Day Twenty Eight

To be honest, Josh has been a bit of a pain for the last few days.  He's moody and snippy and at a constant level of mildly unpleasant. Mostly we've just ignored him, knowing that it will pass and that 14 is hard to live through sometimes.  On top of just being 14, he has tons of school work as the semester ends, and between traveling basketball and school intramural basketball, he's doing at least two hours of basketball every day, seven days a week. I'd be grumpy too. 

He's such a good kid though, and today I was reminded of what kind of person he is.  

He decided to add intramural basketball to his plate because a few of his good friends who didn't make the traveling team or couldn't do traveling were playing. Unlike traveling, anyone can play, from grades 6-8. If you haven't spent much time in a middle school, you might not realize that the difference between a sixth grade boy and an eighth grade boy is.... Unbelievable. In some cases, there is over a foot of height difference and 80+ pounds of weight difference. Really, eighth grade is deep voices, muscles and armpit hair, and sixth grade is lots of giggling, shoving and thinking girls are gross. The six intramural teams are made as fairly as possible. A few eighth graders, a few seventh graders and a few sixth graders, with a balance of size skills.  There's a boy on Josh's team who is smaller than Abby! It's comical. Josh and his best friend Louis are the only eighth graders on their team, and it's cute to watch them rounding up their tiny teammates and giving them pep talks. They're doing pretty well so far too, and the younger kids really look up to them. 

I didn't see today's game, but when I picked him up, he was upset with himself. He had apparently gotten a little frustrated and started hogging the ball. He scored nearly all the points and didn't pass. And he had turned on the traveling intensity and earned himself a reprimand from the ref.  He felt terrible and not at all like a good leader. It probably wasn't as bad as he thinks, but man was he disappointed in himself. He hates playing sports with people who let selfishness overcome the team, and in his eyes, he became one of those people.

But here's why he isn't one of those guys: he told me all about it and then talked about how he could make it right. "On Thursday, I'm going to tell them all that I messed up. That I should have passed and been calmer. And I'll sit out the first quarter so they can all have more playing time. I feel so bad! It's embarrassing. Do you think it will help if I say I'm sorry?" (I assured him that it would and that he'd be a good role model for dealing with it that way.) 

It's hard to turn down the competitiveness, but it's even harder to admit you were wrong and try to make it right. That's true character, and it totally makes up for the grumpiness.  

Day Twenty Seven

Coming and going today. Our strangely beautiful January finally gave way to drizzly gray sometime between when I left for work this morning and when I headed home. I took these pictures in pretty much the same place on the road, heading down toward a beautiful sunrise and heading up through the first rain in many days. I'm a little relieved to see the rain, to be honest. Green grass, summer fruits and waterfalls just don't exist without it. 

Day Twenty Six

Another basketball Sunday. With James feeling way, way better, we spent the day watching basketball games at our home tournament. Josh's team came in second place, the best they've done so far. They get better and better; another dad said today that he wished he had video of their first game to compare to these games, just to see the massive improvement they've made. The little kids and I worked the concession stand for a couple of hours too, so we spent lots of hours at our high school today. Since the house is so clean, I was able to relax and enjoy a family day. 

How do you know you have a true friend? When your friend is a teenage girl, and she still gets up in time to see you play in your 9am Sunday game. (And check out the look on Abby's face. She loves D so, SO much.) 

Josh's coach is a young guy, and if it weren't for the dress shirt, he could just about get away with playing. (It shows how old I am that he's actually married and a full fledged adult.) He's such a nice guy, and Josh really loves playing for him.  

Day Twenty Five

I don't know why I resisted a house cleaner for so long. I worried that it was a waste of money and rationalized that I could do the exact same things for free! Today, though, the house cleaner (who I finally admitted I really, really wanted) came. When she was done, things were spotless. Tub, shower, floors, counters. The stairs had been vacuumed... Even the furniture had been vacuumed. It's amazing! I still feel a little guilty. She doesn't charge much, but I really could do all the jobs myself.  Except.... I wasn't. Not at all. It also seems like a small fee to pay for a big job, but I paid what she asked. She'll come every other week, and it feels like the most amazing extravagance. It IS the most amazing extravagance, and I'm going to try to just appreciate my good fortune!

Day Twenty four

Things I loved today: 

~My mom coming out to sit with still sick James. 

~James sending me an hourly update on his temperature. I have no idea why he thought I would need to know that information, but every so often, my phone would buzz with a message consisting of only a number. 100.7 101.2 101.5 99.9. All day long. 

~The belly laugh I got when I asked James why he texted me a picture of an empty Tylenol bubble, and he replied, "Well, I didn't know how to spell Tylenol, so I thought you'd get the idea." Um, OK? 

~Since James couldn't go to the hockey game with Grandpa tonight, Josh asked Diana to go in his place. The easy, close friendship those two have makes me so happy. It's a genuine friendship that has lasted through the past almost 14 years.  And the joy on Abby's face as she got to "hang with" Josh and Diana was pretty great too. 

~Dinner with just my mama and me. We do sneak one in every so often, and I love it so much. 

~Blue skies. It was cold and windy and gorgeous in Oregon today. My favorite kind of day! 

A busy day, a sick kid, and my frustrating class today tricked me for a bit. At first glance, it seemed like a not great day, but this list was so easy to write! 

Day Twenty Three

It's Parenthood night! I love this show so much. So much that I forget the Bravermans aren't real people and get so emotionally invested that I cry during every episode. I love finding people who also love it so we can dissect each episode and try to figure out what's coming next. I think part of it is that each character reminds me of people I really know, and the situations are so relatable to real life. I relate most to Julia, so her current story line is breaking my heart (in the way that it's not really broken because she's NOT REAL!) Last year, I thought it was being cancelled, so as ridiculous as it is, I'm so grateful for each new episode. 

Day Twenty Two

James is sick. I'm not sure what it is, but my suspicion is that he has H1N1. He got a flu vaccine, but I know you can get a milder case even with the vaccine.  It seems just like that... Just like the flu I had, but every symptom is less severe. Unlike his big brother, James is a stoic sick kid. This morning, he was dressed and nearly out the door to the bus when I noticed he was shivering. Then I saw his uneaten breakfast on the table. I asked if he felt OK, and his eyes filled with tears. "I feel ok. Well, not that great." I made him sit on the couch so I could get the thermometer, and he sat silently with big huge tears splashing onto his lap.  (Even his crying is stoic, which tears my heart to pieces.) He had been about to head to school with a nearly 103 degree temperature! I asked him why he didn't say anything. "I thought I'd be ok at school." Obviously. 

It's nice as the kids get older because with neighbors home, my work so close by, and the ability to text, the boys are able to stay home on the couch without me using up my sick days. I ran home a couple of times during the day and checked in frequently, but he's just fine to snuggle up on the couch and watch tv.  James likes to be alone, but at 3 o'clock exactly, I got a text. "Mom please come home." So I did. He's had company on the couch ever since (and a Blizzard, Gatorade, and two sprites, just because no one can say no to my sweet boy.) The fever is still hanging in, so he'll be home tomorrow too. Grandpa is going to keep him company for a while, and I'll be checking in frequently again. He's snuggly tonight, and you won't hear one complaint from this boy, but I hope this passes quickly! 

Day Twenty One

Right before I got the flu, I hurt my knee pretty badly.  It swelled to the point where I couldn't bend it, and I wasn't able to put much weight on it.  Less than 24 hours later, I was knocked flat by the flu, so the knee took a back seat.  After eight days on the couch, I still wasn't walking well at all, so I begrudgingly went back to the doctor, worried about surgery. It turns out that it's not my knee that's injured... I originally did do some damage to the knee, but it healed pretty quickly. The lasting injury is to my quad; right where my quad connects to my knee is damaged. Good news? No surgery. Bad news? It is going to take some work to get it back to normal. My doctor sent me to physical therapy, and the therapist made a plan. The plan mostly involves strengthening my quad so that it can support my knee, and continuing to rehab the injury.  I went to PT yesterday, and today my leg is so tired and sore. It feels like it just doesn't work properly, and I started to feel a little frustrated by it. Since I'm really working on gratitude, I stopped to think about it tonight. First of all, this is about the most minor injury that someone can have. So there should be no whining, even internally. The list of "things that are worse" is so long that I could start listing them now and still be going strong tomorrow morning. But more importantly, I realized how incredibly lucky I am. I have access to a doctor and a physical therapist. I have insurance and enough money to pay my part of all of this. I have a job that includes paid sick days, just in case I need to take one. If I needed help with housework or the kids or school work, I could call upon person after person after person, and every single one of them would come. And although I don't need much right now, for this time, it's an embarrassment of riches that many, many people don't have.  I do wish my leg would just get better already, but how could I not be overwhelmed with gratitude? 

Day Twenty

James has recently discovered a love for cooking. It started with pancakes, and now he is showing a real interest in how things are made. I got home from physical therapy tonight to find James and John cooking in the kitchen together.  Now, if you've ever met John, you know he doesn't share the kitchen well.  But no one can resist James when he gets enthusiastic about something, I guess, and they were hard at work. James is an eager learner when it's something he is interested in, and he was in learner mode, asking lots of questions and listening intently.  And his dad was in coach mode, super patient, and asking things like "think about Mexican slaw. What flavors do you taste in there?" It was very sweet. Although James helped with everything and can now tell you that if you just add a little cumin, anything tastes like tacos, the slaw was his main creation. It went on the top of the salsa verde chicken tostadas, but he liked his better plain.  It's pictured below, even though he thought I was weird for taking a picture of it! Like his dad, he won't touch an avocado, but he can slice an avocado like a champ now (and tell you why he added lime juice to it.)  I'm thinking that with enough encouragement, he could be in charge of dinner by 2015. 

Day nineteen

Playoffs party.  We don't actually care that much about football, but we care a lot about being in a place with lots of kids and lots of laughing, where any adult can help any kid or tell any kid that an apple slice is not actually a spoon for the caramel dip.  Six adults were WAY outnumbered by 12 children, so it's a good thing said children are so wonderful.  When the moms are talking and eating, I always forget to take pictures, but I liked this one. Seven kids are not pictured, but you get the idea. All evening, the blanket featured at least some of the 12 children snuggled up and eating. I think my favorite was the fifth grade boys, stretched out on their stomachs with a sweet little two year old right in the center. I'm so grateful for the comfort of good friends! 

Day Eighteen

Our little friend PJ is so much fun, and boy does he love Josh. When he sees him, his face just lights up, and Josh loves him right back.  Their sisters had a basketball game today, and Josh played with his tiny buddy during the game.  Josh is so patient with him, and he laughs and laughs with him.  He helped him walk up and down the stairs to the stage over and over and guarded him from falling so carefully. He listens carefully to what he says, and when he repeats it back to him, there is sheer delight that he has been understood. (And Josh is a sucker for this guy.... He follows any and all orders at the drop of a hat.) At one point, PJ noticed a picture of a dog that made him nervous, and Josh scooped him right up and hurried him away from that scary picture. He's so protective and sweet with him. He is going to make the best daddy some day. 

Day Seventeen

I was too lazy to even take a picture. After a bunch of busy weekends, we found ourselves with nothing to do last night.  Pork roast and smashed potatoes, movies on the couch, neighbors kids in and out, and popcorn. Lots of relaxing was the perfect way to kick off the weekend! 

Day Sixteen

James loves infomercials. I don't remember how it started or know why he likes them, but he'll watch infomercials about anything. In fact, two infomercial items made it onto his Christmas list this year, and now he's the proud owner of a Chillow and a Soda Stream. Funny boy. This morning, I came out of my bathroom to find him watching the Derma Wand ad. 

James: I think they look better in the before picture. 

Me: Oh yeah? In the picture with more wrinkles? 

James: Yeah, they just look better.

Me: Well, the after picture does look less wrinkly, but maybe you're right. 

James: Less wrinkly?! Look right here. (And he circled the remaining wrinkles in the picture with his fingers on the screen.)

And here. And here! Wrinkles. 

Me: I don't think anything can rid of ALL wrinkles.

James: But Mom! It SAYS sheer perfection right on the commercial! 

While I tried to come up with a response to that, he walked out of the room muttering "perfection? Yeah right. False advertising. " 

He was so offended. I laughed about it all day! 

Day Fifteen

Josh is such a nice boy. (Really, boy is the wrong word, but man isn't quite right either.) He's changing so much and maturing into such a great guy.  He's in leadership class this semester, and he's had to do things I never imagined he would do. My little boy who couldn't even ask for a refill on his drink a few years ago made phone calls, solicited donations, and recorded an automated phone call for his big fundraiser. Last night, 750 phones rang and when they were answered, it was Josh's voice on the other end of the line. He called the newspaper and had a note published about his fund raiser. I honestly would struggle to do that NOW. He chose Make a Wish for his passion project, and I can't even explain how I feel about that.  It's just... Awesome. A local restaurant agreed to give a portion of its sales tonight to his passion project and the project of another student.  He made flyers about Make a Wish to hand out, and when we arrived the restaurant, the manager asked that he go from table to table to explain the causes and thank people for their support. He got the deer in the headlights look (you know the one he used get trying to ask for that refill?) and I wasn't sure he was going to be able to do it. But then, I could see him shake it off, and he did it. I could watch him from where I sat, and I was just in awe.  Of his poise and how at ease he is with himself.  I took this picture after he had visited with most of the tables. (I wanted to take one of him speaking to people, but I do want to allow him the tiniest bit of dignity.) This is the face of relief and pride.  Man, I like him. 

Day Fourteen

This made me smile. I love everything about it. That she chose to write a heartfelt message on an old piece of cardboard. The spelling. The chosen adjectives.... Courageous? Religious? Long? I think long may be my favorite. She is such a funny girl.  

Day Thirteen

I had a work obligation and physical therapy for my knee this evening, so I didn't get home until 6:30. As I walked in the door, James ran up and threw his arms around me. I asked if he wanted to sit on my lap, and he nodded. I worried that something was wrong, but no, he really just wanted a snuggle. I pulled him into my lap, and he sat there forever. Lovely. I'm not sure how many more of these are left, but I sure hope there are many, many snuggles to come. 

Day Twelve

It's been a fun weekend! Basketball tournament, of course, and we all got to go as a family for Sunday play. Josh's team lost the first three games, but they played well and were proud of themselves. We got to visit my grandparents, have lunch at Chipotle, go to the arcade, and then we headed to the last game, knowing that we were playing the number one team in our pool.  No one really expected a win, but they played their hearts out and won in the last second. It was exciting and so fun to watch! Andrea and Henry came to this one, and it was fun for them to see Josh play so well. 

Happy girl with the hat she won at the arcade. 

James is so delighted with the huge whoopie cushion he won that we can't help all laughing. He just sat in the car and belly laughed for the whole ride home.

Josh is getting better and better at basketball each week. He's so aggressive out there, and not only is he getting tons of steals each game, but he's also getting great at pulling fouls. He made his shots today too! 

Day Eleven

I found this picture on my phone today after Abby and her best friend asked to take pictures with it. I love it because it shows the many sides of my girl... Basketball shirt left on from her game this morning.  Side splits, almost perfect, because her beloved dance teacher told her if she just kept working, she'd get them. This girl could not be more persistent. Art easel behind her, where she spends hours painting and drawing. Story paper next to her, all the better to write any story that comes to mind.  Silly face that cannot disguise how pretty she is. This girl has a lot going for her! 

Day Ten

John is always, always wrestling with the kids, shooting them with Nerf guns, tickling them, and basically doing anything that makes them annoyingly scream with glee. I've read that this type of play is really important, so it's a good thing he's around because I would never EVER provide them with apparently essential rough housing. Tonight, he and Abby were throwing blankets at each other, and she was cackling as usual. At one point, she kicked the blanket at him, and her foot came a little close for my comfort. 

Me: Abby! Be careful!

John: She's fine.

Me: Abby, you'd feel so bad if you kicked Dad in the face!

John: She's not going to kick me. 

James: Yeah, Mom! She knows she'd be in a WORLD of hurt if she does.

Abby, with a serious nod in my direction: Yep. World of hurt. 

I couldn't help but laugh as the screeching and giggling started again. 

Day Nine

As part of the not-in-the-classroom part of my job, I'm mentoring two brand new teachers this year. It's part of a grant, and with grant funded jobs come requirements. Lots of requirements. So today, the other mentors and I headed to a workshop an hour from home. It was supposed to end at four, which would put me back in town with barely enough time to get the little kids from after school care before it closes. So, you can imagine how happy I was when we got out two full hours early! I had picked up a the kids, come home and started a load of laundry by the time I took this pic of the clock. Even better, no one had dance or practice or a game. I did a bunch of laundry, cooked dinner, cleaned our bathroom, and played games with Abby. So nice! 

Day Eight

Boy. Today was a day that made finding a positive thing to be grateful for a little difficult. I'm tired, grouchy and starting to really feel cheated out of my winter break. It turns out that spending days and days sick on the couch with the flu (instead of doing laundry and cleaning and putting away Christmas gifts and grading and planning) really does have a lasting effect on my house and my job. And my family. So. I got home at five and made mashed potatoes and fresh green beans sautéed with bacon and rolls to go with the roast I miraculously managed to remember to put in the crock pot this morning. I even got it on the table in time to eat before basketball practices. But I still wasn't quite there. It tasted good, and I managed not to snap at anyone for the whole meal, but.... I was still more ambivalent than happy and grateful. After we got home from practices, I got to work on cleaning up from dinner. And what do you know?!  Every dish rinsed and counter wiped felt better and better.  I may be stressed and overwhelmed, but my kitchen is clean. It felt so great that I kept going. The whole bottom floor of my house looks decidedly not embarrassing this evening.  Which brings up another point. I don't just have shelter. I have a nice, warm, dry home.  It's pretty and even at it's messiest, it's safe and ours, and I can be truly grateful for that. 

Day Six

We live up a small hill, so we drop down into town each morning. We are often treated to a beautiful view like this one. It was so much prettier in person! Josh was so embarrassed when I stopped to snap this picture. "Mom! Go! You're in the middle of the road!! GAH!" He failed to notice that there was not one other car coming in either direction. I got a gorgeous sunrise and a good laugh this morning. Lucky me!

Day Seven

Just one reason I love this boy:

He wanted popcorn tonight and asked if anyone else wanted some. When we all said we did, he kicked it into high gear.  In just a few minutes, everyone had popcorn in their own bowls and a napkin just in case, served to each of us with a smile. His earnest nature just melts me every time. 

Day Four

Abby and her friend asked if they could paint. I told them they could and sat back to enjoy the silence. Pretty soon the big brothers tumbled in from outside, but instead of the noise level increasing tenfold, it stayed quiet. I wandered in to see what was up.....I love these boys. So serious and sweet. 

Day Five

Josh had a tournament in Salem this weekend, and yesterday's games were pretty miserable. Terrible officiating, terrible playing. Not fun to play or watch when the calls were so unfair and the players were so demoralized. We woke up this morning to a gorgeous, frosty day.  We took the ferry, and as always the views are well worth the two dollar fee! (And the shortened trip is pretty great too.)  I just think this spot is so pretty, rain or shine, any season. 

The basketball was better too. The first game was an easy win that brought back their confidence, and the second was a nail biter against one of the teams from Saturday. The pulled out the win in overtime to show that they are worthy opponents. This also marked the first (and possibly only) tournament that we all  got to go to as a family. After the games, we went shopping and to an early dinner.... A nice relaxing end to winter break. 

Day Three

This spot makes me crazy. It's right inside the front door, and it makes me grouchy when I have to step over eight million shoes. But today, as I stepped over this, it made me smile. There are, as usual, more than 10 kids here. It's a variety of ages spanning from 7 to 14, Some are outside playing soccer, some are upstairs playing games, and some are watching High School Musical. And if you think you can pinpoint the kids who are in each spot, you'd probably be wrong.  There is a lot of giggling at my house, and a fair amount of noise. But there is also kindness and acceptance and fun. In my quest to be grateful, it's not hard to see why this annoying pile of shoes made the list. 

Day Two

 We celebrated the birthday of our favorite newly minted two year old tonight. He's the one on the end, and in case it isn't clear, he likes trains. I love this picture because it shows a whole bunch of my "people." They're not all there, not by a long shot, but when we get together to celebrate, it's always loud and fun and just a little crazy.  And that birthday boy? We all just adore him. He has personality to share, and we are so glad his family shares him with us so freely. 

Day One

Josh is a dedicated kid. He wants to be a  good athlete and knows it takes work. So today, we headed down to school so he could do his workout and do some shooting practice. My current knee injury forced me to sit still and admire this boy of mine. I am so grateful.