Thankful

(Yes, this post is about 24 hours late. Oops!)

As always, I am thankful for so very many things. My life is pretty great. My family is healthy and happy. After nearly 20 years, John and I still laugh together. My kids are three of the greatest people I have ever met. My parents (and cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents!) are always there for me. I have a safe, warm place to live and a car to get me where I need to go. My job is fulfilling and enjoyable, and I genuinely like going there. My kids are having a hard time making a Christmas list because they just don't want for anything. I feel lucky and grateful and happy.

I kind of wondered if my kids felt the same way, so I interviewed each of them to see what they appreciate about their life. Here are their responses....

What are you thankful for?

Josh: Family, friends, Mom, Dad, our house, and money.

James: Mom, Dad, my cousins, my friends, and our house.

Abby: Family, friends, toys, Mom and Dad. Oh, and soft blankets.

I asked them each seperately and without prompting, and to tell you the truth, I thought that I'd get funnier things. Sillier things. But instead, I got a reminder that they get it. They know what's important in life, and that makes me thankful too.

That Sinking Feeling

You know that feeling right? The one you get when you realize you have really screwed up and there is NO WAY OUT?

I have been taking a class for the past four weeks on Wednesday nights. It's a good class, and one that I feel like I needed to take for a variety of reasons, but Wednesday nights in October and November? What was I thinking?? Anyway, the past three Wednesdays have been hectic to say the least. And that was when John was working in town.

For the last class tonight, I e-mailed the teacher and explained about the new job and the commute and said I'd be a little late. She told me what I'd miss so I could make up for it and was fine with me being a little late. I had a meeting after school until 3:45, but I had to get Abby to dance at 4. I left the meeting a little early and managed to leave school (and did I mention that we will be gone tomorrow for ANOTHER tech conference so I had to make sure the sub plans were ready? I know, boo-hoo for me), get to Teresa's, get Abby changed, and get her to dance pretty much on time in SIXTEEN MINUTES. Teresa lives close to school, but still, I was pretty impressed with myself. Also, totally sweaty and frazzled.

We burst in the door of the studio, Kramer-style, drenched from the downpour outside and two minutes late. And that's when my stomach dropped. The walls were lined with chairs. Full of parents watching and filming and photographing their sweet little dancers. Parent watch week. Crap. I either didn't know or totally forgot. I said, and I quote, "OH MY GOD. Is it Parent Watch Week??" Abby looked at me disapprovingly: "I told you. And we don't say 'Oh my God,' Mommy. It's rude." Point taken.

I proceeded to throw her tap shoes on her and slink out of there. But not before thankfully accepting Judy's offer to bring her home. I had no idea when John would be home, but I was hoping for really soon so I wouldn't any later than I already was for class.

I felt HORRIBLE. Really, really bad. Leaving her there with no parent to watch at Parent Watch Week felt terrible. She didn't seem too upset about it, but later when I got home from class in time to tuck her into bed, I asked how it had gone. She said "Judy took tons of pictures, so maybe you can see those. " Knife to the heart.

As for my class? Turns out that huge storm+last minute stuff at work+traffic =Allison is REALLY late for class. Like almost an hour late. (Which means that I could have stayed to watch dance, but I am consoling myself with the fact that I couldn't have known that when I left.) And then, when I snuck into the back of my class, there was nowhere to sit. So I had to go to the front of the room and noisily get a chair off the stack of extras. And then when I sat down, my phone immediately rang because I hadn't even thought to turn it off. It plays the Super Mario Brothers theme song. So embarrassing. It was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad afternoon. Maybe I'll move to Australia.

Bad Role Model

Yesterday, John started his new job. His normal hours will be from ungodly early to early afternoon, which is good because it will mean missing the heavy traffic hours on his commute. Unfortunately, the first day was the HR day. The paperwork, mandatory employee training, tour the other jobs in the business day. And that day is the typical 8-5 shift, which is bad because the worst possible traffic is from 7-8 am and 5-6 pm. Long story short, he got home at 7:30. (He took a detour to the mall. At first, I was grumpy because I would love to go to the mall instead of basketball practice and dealing with a tired girl and chores and homework and blech. But then, I remembered the long commute. In traffic. And the fact that he came home bearing everyone's favorite chocolates from See's Candy didn't hurt either.)

When I got home from picking the kids up after a late meeting at school, we had twenty minutes until we needed to get Josh to basketball practice. I was throwing the ingredients for taco soup on the stove and Abby was in her room listening to music. Suddenly, she threw her door open....

Abby: Hey! Daddy's here!
Me: No, remember he won't be home until late?
Abby: (suspiciously) Well, then why do I smell food???

I informed her that I am perfectly capable of making dinner, but she still looked a little skeptical! I don't seem to be the best role model for domesticity around here.....

No Filter

James is very honest. Very honest. He doesn't get sparing someone's feelings or not sharing his opinions. As a result, he has no filter. AT ALL.

We went to Taco Del Mar today for Family Sunday (free kid's meals!) and were sitting eating in peace when a man sitting right by us started coughing and coughing and coughing. It wasn't a little cough; it sounded like he just might throw up each time, so it was a little disconcerting.

John: (under his breath) It's totally not his fault, but the hacker needs to go!
Me: (laughing) No kidding!

A few minutes passed by.

James: (at his normal super loud volume) Hey, Dad? Why did you say the hacker needed to go?
Me: Shhh, James, geez!
James: What? Dad said it!

He was baffled by our embarrassment. Oh, James......

Maturity

Maturity. Josh is sure getting some. In October, he came home with the news that he had been invited to try out for traveling basketball. We have resisted traveling sports so far for a few reasons. 1) We have three kids and expecting the two who aren't traveling to spend their lives going to their brother's tournaments seems unfair. 2) I think traveling teams for young kids are ridiculous. Parks and Rec teams were designed to give kids access to sports without putting the pressure of try-outs and "making the team" and tournament brackets on 8 and 9 year olds. 3) Our particular child puts a lot of pressure on himself already, and we were hesitant to let him put the weight of his team's success on his shoulders. 4) Traveling can be really expensive, and again, we have three kids.

But. He is 11 now, and his athleticism seems to be sticking around. If he wants to keep playing sports, travelling teams will need to be part of our lives. Boo. So after talking it over, we told him if he wanted, he could try out and participate in traveling basketball this year. To our surprise, he seemed hesitant. He happened to have a counseling appointment on the day that he needed to make the decision, so he worked it out with her. They made a pros and cons list and talked it over and discovered to his surprise and ours that he didn't want to travel. He wanted to play Park and Rec one more year. In Park and Rec, he can play with one of his best friends. He can relax because he is one of the better players on the court. They don't keep official records in Park and Rec, so a win or a loss just doesn't really matter. He was mature enough to realize that this was what he needed.

He had his first game today. The other team only had four players, which is the kind of thing that happens in Park and Rec. It's relaxed, remember? I was a little tense that he would be mad at himself for choosing this option. But, the coaches smiled and shook hands and decided to play four-on-four. There was no talk of forfeit, and all the kids had a great time. He came off the court smiling and happy. He hasn't had one moment of doubt or unhappiness about his decision. When he got in the car, I asked him how many points he had scored. He kind of shrugged and said "I don't know, six? Eight? Ten? Something like that...." and then he smiled and said, "isn't Jordan nice? The kids on my team are really nice guys. And my coach is nice too. That was a really fun game!" Maturity is really paying off for him.

Wrestling

So, James decided to wrestle for his winter sport this year, which took me by surprise. Josh plays basketball, and all of James's friends play basketball. Obviously, James would play basketball, right? Nope! If there is one thing that I know about James, it's that he will always surprise me. I wasn't sold on the idea, but after one single practice, he was hooked. Also, he is really pretty good at it, and has, I've been told by a few people, natural talent. So. I guess we're a wrestling family now.

Wrestling people are a little weird. I'm sorry if you are a wrestling person or know one, but it's the truth. They are INTENSE. The first week of wrestling was "camp." It was four nights of an intro to wrestling, and all the parents lined up on the wall and murmured about how cute the kids were. Even at camp, there were moments (like when James got really hurt and was sobbing, and they sent him right back in for more) that I had to hold onto the bleachers to stop myself from running out, grabbing him up, and heading for the car. And then, then real practice started. The parents aren't even allowed in the practice room, and you can hear yelling and screaming through the door. They are S.E.R.I.O.U.S. about wrestling. The kids wrestle while they are crying from pain, frustration and fear. And no one seems even the tiniest bit bothered by that. But. James is happy and likes it and couldn't wait for his first tournament.

Early this morning, John and James headed over for "weigh-in." He weighed in at 51 pounds, just a few ounces from the next weight class down. If you are our family, you just shrug and say "oh well" and know he will face bigger kids. Other families, though, do not subscribe to the oh well philosophy and were encouraging their 8 and 9 year olds to go to the bathroom, jump rope or strip down naked to get into the smaller weight classes! Yikes!

James is a Bantam, 55 pound weight class. When his rank and weight class was called, he went to the staging area, and my heart starting beating really fast! He was amazing though. His determination and focus are really something to see, and even through nerves and sometimes tears, he gave his all, over and over and over again. He lost his first match, which put him into the consolation half of the bracket. I don't understand the brackets AT ALL. But, when all was said and done and the stands were emptying because so many kids had been eliminated, James was still going. He won all the rest of his matches until he reached the third place match. This, as a result of the brackets I don't get, was as far as he could go in this tournament. He lost the third place match by getting pinned at almost the end of the third round. He was ahead in points, but the pin lost the match for him with just seconds left to go of the match. Which doesn't matter. At all. Because after two club practices and not one bit of experience, he made it to the top of his bracket. I'm not sold on wrestling, but I am sold on that kid! He came home sore and exhausted and covered in mat burns and FINGER MARKS and is ready to go again. He is a pretty awesome kid, and he looks pretty awesome in his singlet and head gear too! Some evidence.....

Long wavy hair and head gear don't play nice together. He may have won some matches because the other kids were scared of his hair?

We get to keep this singlet for the whole season! Lucky us! RDH is either someone else's initials or maybe Respect, Determination, Hard Work? Yeah, let's go with that.

This is a take down. He gets two points for getting the other guy thrown down to the mat and then controlling him once they get down there. He got a lot of points in this match.

Although I do think his backside is adorable in his singlet, it more my angle during the matches that made it so that EVERY SINGLE picture is of the back of him.

Aspirations

In the car today, on the way to lunch:

Abby: Mom, I decided what I want to be when I grow up.
Me: What do you want to be?
Abby: A teacher!!
James: Hey! You stole my idea! That's what I want to be!
Me: You would both be great teachers. You can both be teachers if you want to be.
James: sigh, grumble, eye roll
Abby: (under her breath) See, James!?

We went to Panda Express for lunch since we have the day off from school. We were sitting there eating when Abby sat straight up:

Abby: Mom!! Can you have TWO jobs????
Me: Yes.
Abby: Then I want to work at Panda Express and be a teacher.
Josh: Maybe you could work at Panda Express in high school and then be a teacher later.
James: Can you do that??!??
Me: Sure. I worked at an ice cream shop but now I'm a teacher.
James: COULD I WORK IN AN ICE CREAM SHOP?????
Me: Yep.
James: Forget being a teacher! I want to work in an ice cream shop!
Abby: Yeah! Forget being a teacher! I want to work at Panda Express.

We may need to work on our future goals a little bit.......

Family Pictures

The family picture I have framed in my house is from 2007. No one looks the same. Abby is in diapers, James is just a little guy, Josh is missing his two front teeth (!), I am very blond, and John has hair on his head and none on his face. We were way overdue for some new pictures until I asked my mom to take some pictures of us. Now, if I can just edit them and order some prints before these are outdated too.....

She took tons, but these are some of my favorites:

James

James was struggling at the beginning of the year. There are a lot of education terms for where James is, but it boils down to this: He is just below grade level. And despite a lot of intervention and hard work, he has remained just below grade level. And when reading isn't quite there, writing isn't quite there either.

Second grade is more rigorous than first. More reading, more writing. And that's good! But also kind of not for our family. Homework was a struggle, and for the first time ever, James started to feel like he is just below grade level. Which, quite frankly, sucked. And then he got a 2 on his homework. If you are unfamiliar, 2 means something like "emerging" or "progressing." To a literal child like James, it simply meant "not good enough."

I e-mailed his teacher to set up a conference, and she invited me in the very next day. (Full disclosure here: his teacher is my friend Paige. She reads my blog, but I would be saying these nice things even if she didn't!) We talked, and she really heard my concerns. Even better, she had suggestions and solutions to make things better. She was ready to implement those things right. that. day.

Things immediately got better. Homework is better, his confidence level is sky-high, and he loves school. Paige has followed through on the plan at school, and I have followed through on the plan at home. And a few weeks after our meeting, I got an e-mail from Paige. She had chosen him for the October Student of the Month. (You might remember the whole SOTM debacle from last year--he wanted so badly to be chosen and month after month after month went by without him being chosen. And it sucked.) He got his award on the Friday before Halloween. The look on his face when he realized why I was there to eat lunch with him was priceless.

When Paige gave her little speech about why she had chosen him, she got choked up. It was very sweet, and it me really see that she gets how hard he has been working and she gets that even though he doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeve, it meant the world to him.

Did I mention it was the Friday before Halloween? Which is why the vampire got his award from a marathon runner........

Turkey Feather

All three of my kids have spent at least two years at the preschool that Abby currently attends. There are many things that stay the same at this school, and even though I LOVE tradition, some things are a little tiresome on the seventh time through. So, when the turkey feather came home, I couldn't even pretend to be excited about this "family project." I'm sure you've seen this one--each kid gets a 12" long brown feather to decorate and then they all get stapled around the turkey on the bulletin board. It's due tomorrow, so I drug it out to work on this morning. James spotted it and asked if he could work on it with her. I was hesitant--James plus Abby doesn't always equal sibling harmony--but I was thrilled to turn it over to someone else!

They worked on it for 45 minutes. James was so patient with her, and they were both just thrilled with the product!! It was so sweet to see them working together!

James drew the little heart with Abby's name in it. When I told him I thought it was cute, he said "Well, she is my little sister, Mom. That's why I put the heart." Duh.

October

October just about killed me. Soccer, dance, tutoring, piano, homework, and chores for the kids. Loads and loads of laundry, four days of out of town workshops, a class on Wednesday nights, meetings, and trying to stay on top of the house and work for me. Phone interviews, in-person interviews (which did eventually result in a new job!), running a marathon, and coaching two soccer teams for John. It's been quite a month. I am pretty sure that it will take all of November to recover.

The thing is, blogging is important to me. I love that, finally, I have found a successful way to keep track of my memories. And that I have a (small) audience makes it even better. It's just that in October, something had to give. Actually, several somethings had to give. So, I only blogged four times in October. There is no way to really catch up, but now that November is here and life feels a bit more manageable, I'm ready to start again. In the interest of keeping my memories, here is a short (ha!) summary of the month that almost did me in.....

Soccer: The boys LOVED soccer. They both had great seasons, scored goals and enjoyed hanging out with their friends. I doubt that John will ever coach both boys again, but everyone had fun.

Marathon: The week of the marathon, John got a cold. Nothing serious, but a cold all the same. I would have sacrificed the entry fee, but in so many ways, John is NOT ME. He ran, with a cold, in the pouring down rain. And he finished! I really cannot believe how hard it rained that day, but by the time we got to the finish line to watch him cross, it was stopping. Not helpful for John, but it worked out pretty well for us.

Job: John applied for and got a new job. He is excited for a new opportunity, and although it will be a commute, it should be a good change. (In all honesty, I think that "good change" is an oxymoron, and I spend most of the month stressing out about the insurance and the gas and the different hours. Still, John is happy, so we are happy. And I am finding that if I just relax, details work themselves out. Who knew?)

Neck lump: I had one. I went to the doctor, and she sent me to a specialist to RULE. OUT. CANCER. I totally freaked out and spent days googling lymphoma treatments and making a plan. (Plans always make me feel better.) I went to the specialist, where I was informed that it was nothing. Phew. But, if I should ever need a plan for a lymphoma diagnosis, I should be all set.

Family Pictures: My mom took some pictures for us a few weeks ago. I really plan to blog some of them after I finish editing them. This would be another thing on the list of somethings that had to give in October.

Halloween: Was awesome. It should always be on a Sunday! We went to a party on Saturday night, had a couple too many mixed drinks and slept in until it was time to get the kids. The days was relaxed and laid back, and we all had a good time. We trick or treated with the Denneys and then went to a few favorite houses. I took a grand total of one really bad picture, and I didn't even care.

Eight year anniversary: Halloween marked the eight year anniversary of Josh's diagnosis. Finally, eight years later, it felt kind of like a non-event. We talked about it a little, but mostly, the day just felt like a day. I did take a few moments throughout the day to appreciate modern medicine and marvel at just how far he has come.

Josh: School still isn't great. But, his worry box at counseling is currently empty. I have never seen the inside of the worry box, but the idea is that you put your worries in the box and only visit them occasionally. It has worked well for him, and I am thrilled that it's empty! He also made a sports decision on his own and is happy with his choice to play Park and Rec basketball one more year. He was invited to try out for a traveling league, and although we said he could, he decided it wasn't right for him. He is getting so grown up!!

James: School is great! He loves going, and he is making great gains in his reading and writing. He was Student of the Month for October, and he is just working so hard. He made his own sports decision this year too: he is wrestling. Not surprisingly, he is quite good at it. I have to restrain myself from running out to stop him from getting hurt, but he really, REALLY likes it!!

Abby: As always, Abby loves everything. Her friends, her school, dance, everything. She spent most of October driving me crazy with her non-stop talking and questions. The busier our family gets, the more attention she needs. I am looking forward to being home more so that she can get what she needs.

I hate it when I can't even enjoy the little things because the big things are so overwhelming, so welcome, November!